


Chemicals Between Us

by xantissa



Series: Carnival of Rust [27]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Jim likes to jump into the deep end of the pool, M/M, filthy porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 22:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xantissa/pseuds/xantissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khan proposes a game. Jim agrees. He probably should have thought that through a little better. 7k words of porn. With feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chemicals Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> Date: 10-05-2015  
> Ok, so first of all - remember to be gentle with me! It’s the first sugar I have written in almost two years! I am more than a bit rusty. Second: this is mostly porn, so don’t expect much. But I tried to squeeze some plot in there too. Or character development. Hard to say :)

Jim blinked at Khan, standing in his door at eighteen hundred hours. While the Augment visited him quite often, it usually happened in the dead of the night, not at any respectable time in the evening. He cast his eyes to the clock display on the wall and back to Khan. Huh.

“Are you going to invite me in?” the dark haired man pushed in anyway after a few more seconds of Jim gaping at him like a fish out of water.

The blond cleared his throat “Yeah...of course. Come in.” He hobbled away from the door, letting Khan enter and went back to his table, staring helplessly at the steaming plate of food on it.

“I was just sitting down to dinner,” he offered, still of guard. “Want to join me?”

Ever since the accident, Jim didn’t like eating in the mess. The careful stares full of pity and questions made his stomach turn.

Khan cast a quick glance over the room, taking in all the detail and came closer to Jim.

“I could eat.”

Jim barely managed not to snort at the response. The short time he had more than one Augment on board made it very, very obvious that they were frankly always hungry. Bones speculated that it had something to do with their enhanced metabolism.

It was surprisingly pleasant just sitting at the same table and eating a meal together. They didn’t talk besides a few usual platitudes. It felt almost domestic on the one hand and completely alien on the other. Jim couldn’t remember ever having a meal like this with any of his previous partners. A dinner was always a date, where he had to impress his date in order to get them into bed. This time sex was a given, that was the whole reason Khan came here, so no need to impress. Besides, Khan had already seen him at his worst, nursed him through the horrifying ordeal on that planet.

Khan was the first to finish his meal and Jim wasn’t even trying to pretend he wasn’t appreciatively looking at Khan as he tilted his head to drain his glass of water. Khan locked eyes with Jim and made a bit of a show of it, tilting his head a bit farther back than needed, exposing the strong, delicious column of his neck to Jim’s hungry eyes.

Jim took the last swallow of his own water, feeling a little more thirsty than before, and watched Khan as the man got up from the chair opposite him. The Augment didn’t even look at Jim, just reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off in one, fluid movement, the sharply defined muscles of his back standing out in sharp relief.

Jim had never been attracted to men as well-built as Khan, but he found himself staring at the other man, almost drooling as he watched the play of skin over muscle.

Khan threw the shirt on the chair he’d just vacated, giving Jim a lovely view of his smooth chest. It occurred to the blond that the Augment was still missing some bulk, his muscles were more sharply defined than ever, and his cheekbones stood out sharp enough to cut glass. It struck him as strange, since they’d been back on the Enterprise for weeks already, with access to an unlimited food supply. He made a mental note to talk to Bones about it.

Khan’s hair was in disarray now, the surprisingly long fringe falling over his forehead. The moment the Augment locked his pale eyes on Jim, the blond couldn’t resist. He smiled up at Khan from his seated position and offered a cheeky:

“Time for dessert?”

He could almost see the effort it took Khan not to roll his eyes.

“That.” He rumbled coming closer to Jim “was really bad.”

Jim grinned up at him with the utter delight of teenage boys everywhere at delivering a truly bad pun.

“I know,” he admitted unrepentantly.

There was something almost like a smile tugging at Khan’s lips. The Augment reached out a hand and touched his thumb to the corner of Jim’s mouth.

“I think we can make a better use of your mouth,” he said in that ridiculously low register of his.

With how close Khan stood to his chair, Jim was almost eye level with the dark haired man's pelvis and could easily see the outline of the erection that was starting to show clearly through the stretchy material of the standard issue pants. Khan wasn't completely hard yet, but well on his way there. Actually Jim was too, even if all they’d done was eat a meal together. It was almost a Pavlovian response by now. Khan in his quarters meant sex, meant orgasm, meant instant erection.

Jim wasn't complaining though.

He watched the way the Augment’s sharply defined muscles contracted slightly as he breathed. Jim reached for those strong hips and put his hands on the waistband of the dark pants and started to slowly unbutton them.

He leaned down and put his lips on one exposed hipbone.

Then he bit it.

Khan hissed, but didn't actually try to stop him.

Jim smiled as he pulled the clothes down far enough to reveal the already fully hardened cock. Objectively it was perfectly proportional to the man, yet when staring at it from this distance, it looked huge.

He leaned down to have a taste and smiled at the indrawn breath. Yeah, it felt good to be able to get to the normally-aloof man quite this much. Khan smelled of the generic soap, which might have been a sign that the man wanted their trysts just as much as Jim did.

He didn't play around, but opened his mouth and took in as much as he could. Khan shifted his hands to Jim's cheeks to feel Jim working the cock in and out. The blond looked up the sculpted body to catch the way Khan's pupils dilated. The heat between them was always instant, a spark that caught immediately. Sex so much easier than expected. Khan was a control freak and insisted on dominating their encounters, but that didn't bother Jim. Even though the blond was more familiar with being the instigator and the one to lead in sexual situations, he had no problem submitting to Khan's demands. It was hot, the man was very instinctive about his partners needs, and Jim was experienced enough to accept his kinks without shame.

He didn't get long to enjoy giving the blowjob. A muscle in Khan's jaw jumped and Jim was pulled up towards that hard body, much of his weight resting against the powerful arm circling his waist. It was something of a guilty pleasure, the thrill he got from being manhandled by the Augment. As a strong and fit man in his own right, Jim rarely had partners actually capable of supporting him quite so easily.

He grinned and stretched out for a kiss. He loved kissing, loved tasting his lovers until their lips were swollen and sensitive. He wound one of his hands over Khan's shoulders, letting the man take even more of his weight.

"I think it's time we moved this to the bed," he offered, sliding his hand over Khan’s erection, which was still slick from Jim’s efforts, and palming it firmly.

Khan made an affirmative kind of noise, hitched Jim a bit higher, and backed towards the bed. The Captain’s quarters were bigger and more luxurious than the others on the ship, but they too were still confined by the specifications of an actual space vessel where space was a precious commodity. It meant that in just a few short strides Khan reached the bed.

He put Jim down, breaking the kiss, and said in that incredible voice of his: "strip."

The blond only grinned and divested himself of his shirt quickly, throwing it to the floor carelessly. The Augment kicked his shoes away and shucked off his already-open pants before sitting down on the edge of the bed, gloriously naked and unashamed, and watched as Jim stripped. His pale eyes were intense and focused, the blown pupils already eating up the color. For such a heavily controlled man, Khan was very easy to get going. Jim liked that, liked how simple this was with this otherwise complicated man. He couldn't stand other people seeing the bandage or prosthetics on his leg, hated the pity in their eyes, but Khan was different. He knew better than anybody how it looked without the dressing, just how severe the damage was, but he never pitied Jim for it. He wanted him despite the disfigurement, and there was nothing but honest heat in his eyes as he watched Kirk get rid of his clothes.

Jim crawled onto the bed on hands and knees, using proximity to force Khan to move further up and settled himself between the other man's legs, just looking, feasting his eyes on the hard, perfectly developed chest.

He leaned down to bite at a defined pectoral, sliding the flat of his tongue over the small, flat nipple, enjoying the way the chest under his hands expanded rapidly. He pressed himself to the hot, naked skin, loving the strength and unabashed maleness of it. He pressed Khan down with his weight, and Khan let him.

"I would love to fuck you," he murmured, lost in a fantasy. He caught himself a beat too late, instantly knowing it was a mistake. Khan may be as kinky as hell in bed, but he was also very stuck on his alpha status. Jim didn’t know if his issues with control came from genuine belief of being better, from being a commander and leader for so long or because of the fact he spent the better part of two years in captivity, but those issues definitely had their own issues.

Outwardly Khan didn’t tense up, his body stayed relaxed, that was as relaxed as a man with a raging hard-on could get, but there was a flicker of something dark through the bond. There and gone, before Khan clamped down on the emotional bleed. The Augment slid his hand through Jim's short hair.

"I had something else in mind of today," he offered in a velvety voice pulling Jim up to face him.

The blond could feel his eyebrows climbing up, because that was a surprisingly mild refusal, one that suggested that Khan might actually be amenable to the switch in position one day. Jim had to pant a little, to get rid of the sudden images. He thought of the sheer physical power Khan was capable of, of the way his muscles bunched and released during any kind of exertion, the rigid control of his body and wanted to have it. Just have it. Just press Khan down on the bed, face down. Cover him, get to lick the salt and sweat off that incredibly sculpted back, to just get to grab that fairly extraordinary ass and just push his dick in, all at once. Watch that perfectly controlled, dangerous man just take it. Maybe he would hold his wrists down, or maybe even tie him down.

He pressed his open lips to Khan's, too sloppy to be a kiss, he just panted into the other man's mouth as he jerked his hips helplessly into him, desperately seeking friction.

The Augment finally took control of the messy kiss and his body, hooking a knee over Jim's hips and rolling them over, so that the dark haired man was on top.

"You asked me once why I instigate sex so often. Why once wasn't enough," Khan offered in a surprisingly welcoming voice.

"Yeah, yeah you told me," Jim grumbled, oddly jealous. "All that 'better' bullshit."

"I might not have been completely honest."

Jim made an exaggeratedly surprised face. "You lied!" he made a gasping sound. "I should make a note of this in my Captain’s Log! It's so unexpected!"

Khan honest-to-god rolled his eyes at Jim.

"You want the answer or not?"

Jim dropped the performance because Khan was trying to share something and honestly, Jim was kind of dying of curiosity. "Yes, yes I want it."

"Afterglow."

Jim furrowed his brows, not really getting it. "But you never indulge in any kind of ‘afterglow’. It's always back to business with you within a few seconds."

"Afterglow is what you experience after orgasm, when your body is flooded with hormones," Khan explained patiently. "The problem is my metabolism is too fast and flushes the hormones out almost as fast as they come."

Jim stared, feeling oddly outraged on Khan's behalf.

"It's not that you ignore any afterglow, you don't have it at all."

Khan nodded.

"Unless I overwhelm my body's ability to metabolize the hormones," the Augment supplied.

"Hence the sex marathons," Jim said, but something wasn't quite adding up. "But I still don't get it. What do you get eventually, that doesn't sound like any afterglow I know?"

Khan shifted atop the blond, sliding his thigh boldly between Jim's legs.

"In short? I get high. Or as close as I can get with my enhancements."

Kirk remembered very well how it felt being fucked over and over again, the way Khan became more touchy, less controlled after each bout. How handsy he would get eventually, pulling out after coming inside Jim and pressing his fingers or his tongue inside.

"Yeah?" And now his own voice was a gravelly rumble, doing its best to match Khan's unbelievable low registers.

"I want to make you feel that way. I want to bring you close to orgasm over and over again, until you honestly don't think you can survive. And then I want to watch you as you finally let go. It would feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before," Khan purred, his voice vibrating right through Jim's chest. "For that one moment, you will be a being of only flesh and pleasure."

"You want to edge me," Jim said slowly, staring at Khan. "What am I saying. Of course you want to edge me."

Khan looked faintly offended, a little like a cat whose tail was stepped on.

"You will like it," the Augment rumbled in that perfect voice and shifted, pressing his whole, hot body against Jim's, creating delicious friction. Kirk could feel the head of his cock, hard and slightly wet, dragging over the delicate skin of his belly.

Yeah, he could see himself enjoying this, letting Khan push him beyond what he was usually comfortable with.

He licked his suddenly dry lips.

"Yeah, I can try," he swallowed audibly. "But I want something out of this game too."

Khan raised his eyebrows inquisitively.

"Every time we stop, you will have to tell me something about yourself. Something personal." It was a gamble, asking for this. However Jim never could find any way to actually get closer to Khan. At first just having him in his bed was enough, but unlike his previous relationships it didn't stay that way. Instead of running away from girlfriends that pressed too hard about deepening their relationship, he found himself in the completely strange position of being in their place.

Something flared in Khan's eyes before he hid that too, but he did nod, signaling his acquiescence.

"So how many times do you actually want to do this?"

The dark haired man smirked.

"I will know when the time comes. You just warn me when you are close."

The bastard didn't waste any time. He just slid down Jim's body and put his mouth on his cock, his hand around the shaft and started sucking. The stimulation was hard and unexpected and damn near perfect. Jim caught hold of that shiny, dark hair and pulled, groaning. It took a surprisingly short time before he had to jerk the other man away, swearing at him the whole time.

Khan rose up and sat back on his heels between Kirk's legs, watching as the blond clenched his teeth and panted, cursing him from time to time. Jim's cock was hard and leaking precome on his stomach and was very, very cross with him at the moment.

For long moments he just lay there, trying to control his breathing. Khan rubbed his thighs soothingly, waiting patiently for him to back away from the edge. When Jim looked at the augment, he seemed solely focused on Jim, not even aware of the impressive erection bobbing in front of him.

In a few minutes Jim was no longer at the risk of coming and sighed, frustrated.

"I'm okay now," he said once his erection softened even more.

"Good. We can proceed then," Khan murmured, showing Jim the small bottle of lube he had palmed when Jim wasn't looking. He made a show of pouring the clear liquid into his hand and slicking his fingers. He moved slowly, letting his muscles flex and stand in sharp relief. Jim watched him as mesmerized as he was that first time in the cave.

When Khan leaned over him, Jim spread his legs to let him find his hole and press those slick fingers against it.

"You think I can get you to the edge with my fingers alone?" Khan murmured as he pressed his lips to Jim's neck, biting against the soft skin there and making Jim arch into the touch of the fingers, slowly pressing inside as well as the teeth on his neck. Two fingers, and of course the bastard went right for his prostate. The hot zing of sensation was mind boggling and he moaned. Loud.

"I don't know about fingers," he said after he got hold of himself. "But if you keep talking like that I won't last long." he panted.

Obligingly Khan shifted his lips to Jim's ear and started talking in his lowest, filthiest voice.

"I’ve got two fingers in you, as easy as anything. You want it so bad you all but devoured me. It feels hot and slick inside you. I bet I could just roll you over and push my cock into you without any more preparation than this. Just press in, watch you take all of me, and I bet you would moan for more even as I stretched you to the point of pain." It wasn't even the words themselves, but their intent, the slow, filthy way he timed his speech with sharp little thrusts of his fingers against Jim's prostate. The constant, unrelenting stimulation and the stream of filth filling his ears was making Jim's head spin. He could hear Khan's voice, feel the hot, wet puffs of air against his flushed skin.

"I could just press you down, hold your wrists so that you couldn't touch yourself and split you open on my cock. I bet you would beg for me. For more. You would spread your legs and push your ass against me, fucking yourself on me just as much as I was fucking you. And you know what would be the best part?" Khan purred, closing his lips and then teeth over Jim's earlobe. He now had three fingers in Jim and was thrusting them, in a steady, strong rhythm, pulling them out almost all the way and pushing back sharply. He hit Jim's prostate over and over. "I would let you come of course. Because I love the way it feels when you clench around me so desperately; how you stop breathing and all but mewl. I would wait for you to finish, for all those little spasms to end, and then I would start all over again until you were so sore you would beg me to stop."

Jim thrashed; the sound of pure filth pouring from Khan's mouth and the obscene, wet sounds of his fingers working in his ass were driving him insane. His heart was pounding, his skin was flushed and his balls were pulling up dangerously.

"Stop, stop, stop!" He yelled, scrabbling to get hold of his cock and squeezing painfully hard until the urge to come faded. He rolled away from Khan onto his side and just lay there panting, holding onto his painfully hard cock. His heart was pounding and he felt dizzy. Dizzy, frustrated, and angry at the denied pleasure.

It was harder to come down this time. He kept getting distracted by the sounds and smells of the room. He could smell Khan beside him, the sweat and musk of him. He could feel the heat of his naked body close to him, could hear his loud breathing.

When Khan put his arm over Jim and pulled him closer to his chest, the blond was torn between arching into the warmth of his naked chest and breaking Khan’s nose with a well placed elbow.

It took a damned long time to calm down, definitely longer than before and this time his cock didn't go completely soft. His whole body was oddly sensitive, easily excited. He became aware of the thread count of his sheets, painfully aware of the scent of the man behind him, and the massive erection pressed patiently to the skin of his lower back. Khan didn't even try to achieve any kind of release, and perversely enough, the fact that Khan was so turned on, made it so much harder to calm down.

Eventually, Jim had to roll out of bed and go into the bathroom for a while, grabbing his cane on instinct, not even being bothered by Khan seeing him use it. Splashing his face with freezing cold water and being away from the other man helped him finally calm down.

When he came back into the room, he found Khan lying half-propped on the pillows, completely naked, aroused and watching him with those pale, intense eyes. His hair was disarrayed, dark strands falling over his forehead, and he looked more than gorgeous.

Jim's cock gave a twitch of interest just from looking.

When Khan extended his hand, Jim came back to bed. He wanted to say something flippant but his head was oddly empty. All he could really think about was what Khan would do next and how it would feel. His body was still oddly sensitive, his nipples pebbled from just the feel of the air on his naked skin, and his heart was already beating faster.

"What now?" Jim asked hoarsely as he climbed back into bed, lying on his side and facing Khan. The other man reached for him immediately, skimming his warm palm over his ribs, down his hip, palming his ass and then slipping his fingers between his cheeks and circling his hole as if he owned it. It was still wet from being ruthlessly finger-fucked just a few minutes ago, and slightly open, making it exceedingly easy for Khan's fingers to slip inside. He wasn't yet sore, but definitely oversensitive and he moaned at the sensation.

"I would like to fuck you now." the Augment murmured coming closer and Jim just nodded, his throat already dry.

Khan arranged them so that Jim was on his back, Khan perched above him. One of the dark haired man's hands sat just beside Jim's head, giving the blond a perfect and close view of that beautifully developed chest. With the other, Khan caught Jim's knee and pulled his leg high over his hip, making Jim open and easily accessible, at the same time taking away all his leverage.

Khan pressed the palm of his hand over Jim's soft cock, sending little shocks of pleasure into him before moving to his balls, warm and heavier than Jim remember them ever being. Khan rolled the sac carefully for a moment, just feeling the weight and warmth, but said nothing.

When the Augment reached for the bottle of lube between the pillows it put his nipples almost directly in front of Jim. The blond didn't even try to resist. He just stretched up a little and licked one closest to him, before dragging his teeth over the pebbled flesh. Khan stilled above him, letting out a low, throaty moan that made Jim go from soft to half-hard in a single heartbeat.

Eventually Khan shifted back, going out of reach. Jim watched, mesmerized as he opened the bottle one handed and poured lube on his angrily red cock. Just watching how he wrapped that big yet graceful hand around his own penis and stroked it to spread the lube was enough to bring Jim to full hardness. He was aware of everything in a way he’d never been before. Jim saw the tiny drops of sweat that travelled from the short hairs on the back of Khan's neck to be caught by his collarbones. Could smell the heavy musk of the man's scent, could hear both their labored breathing. By the time Khan was positioning himself at his entrance, Jim knew this wouldn't take long. His heartbeat was already elevated and there was heat pooling in his belly. It was ridiculous how primed for this he was.

When Khan pressed in, one long, unforgiving thrust that seated him fully inside, Jim moaned like a fucking whore. No matter the prep before, it always hurt at first, taking something this large into himself. Usually Jim could deal with it, even liked the stretch, but this time it felt almost like a relief. Khan set a slow, steady rhythm that had Jim moaning almost continuously from the very beginning. His prostate was taking a beating again, making little sparks of pleasure dance in front of his eyes at almost every thrust. Watching Khan above him, his face contorted into a grimace of concentration didn’t help Jim’s control. Khan’s hair was all over the place, sweat dripped from his nose, and his chest was flushed with the exertion of keeping up a steady rhythm. Jim could tell he wanted to go harder, faster but couldn't, because he had to give Jim time to warn him of his approaching orgasm.

Jim knew that if he reached for his cock, he would be on the edge of coming within seconds, so he held out, strangely transfixed at the way Khan looked, flushed and so completely focused on Jim.

He pulled the other man lower, into a kiss, forcing him to rapidly redistribute his weight and pressing their chests tightly together. The angle was worse this way, making it harder for Khan to hit his prostate, but the skin-to-skin contact was even better. Jim barely caught himself in time and pushed Khan away, making an inarticulate noise of anger and complaint.

Thankfully, the Augment understood and stilled completely. Jim watched him, panting like a racehorse. He looked distressed, eyes tightly shut and chest flushed. Eventually, very slowly the Augment pulled out. The grimace on his face was almost painful. Jim wasn't the only one not getting any release here.

As he watched Khan clench his jaw and breathe very, very slowly he realized it was no use. Seeing the other man so frustrated, so damn ready for release was actually making Jim more aroused instead of vindicated.

When Khan reached out to touch him, Jim quickly shook his head. He was upset, halfway to tears actually and felt that if Khan lay one hand on him, he would shatter.

"Don't," he said hoarsely. "Don't touch me now."

Khan nodded and rolled out of bed. Jim watched him as he walked across the room to water dispenser, naked and unabashed, his dick bobbing undaunted in front of him, angrily red. Jim had to close his eyes, the sight doing nothing for his ability to calm down. It was harder every time, the arousal no longer fading the way it had the first time. He lay there, angry and frustrated, just a step away from crying, and listened to the sounds of a glass of water being filled and drunk, then another being filled.

"Drink this." The augment offered him the glass, as he came back to perch on the edge of the bed, giving Jim the fairly innocent view of his back.

Jim took the water and cast his mind around for a distraction.

"First relationship?" Jim asked, searching for something to take his mind off the unsatisfied ache in his cock and the way his ass throbbed, caught between sore and empty.

Khan, still sitting beside him, turned and raised his eyebrows. He had surprisingly expressive eyes when he let his guard down.

"You really want to talk about that now?" The Augment seemed miffed.

But it was actually a perfect time. Nothing would bring his erection down like talking about Khan's previous lovers and it would give him more insight into the man.

"Yes. If I have to suffer, you do too."

Khan snorted but nodded.

"Fine. Scarlett. She was from the States originally. Unlike my crew, she was the only one created in their lab and unique genetically. She is brilliant, beautiful but also exceedingly ruthless."

Jim furrowed his brows, his brain slowly coming back online.

"Only one? But that would defeat the purpose!"

Khan grimaced oddly, strange expressions chasing each other fast over his face.

"She didn't like that she was created in a lab and made sure they wouldn't be able to reconstruct their work."

Jim sensed he wouldn't like the story so he let that go.

"How old were you when you met her?"

"Eighteen. We were together for ten years." Khan's voice was becoming steadily darker.

"Wow. That's long. What happened?"

Khan turned his eyes away from Jim for the very first time and continued.

"For the good of my people I had to break off that relationship. It was necessary, but also probably one of the cruelest and most painful things I probably ever did."

The way Khan was shielding, clamping down on the bond until it was smothered into nonexistence told Jim that he’d accidentally stuck his nose into something very painful.

He reached out to touch the expanse of the bare back and was gratified to see Khan lean minutely into the touch.

It took another twenty minutes before he was calm enough for Khan to touch him again. the augment just knelt on the floor and pulled Jim to the edge of the bed, putting both of Jim’s thighs on his shoulders. Jim hissed out a breath as the Augment placed a series of stinging bites on the inside of his thighs, obviously enjoying the tiny yelps and hisses before he applied himself to giving the blond a spectacular blowjob. Each time it took less time to bring Jim to the edge and more time for him to calm down. This time Khan decided when to stop; the bastard was learning much too fast how to read Jim's body. Jim shouted at him, literally screamed profanities, flushed and unreasonably angry as the older man moved to sit in the armchair on the other side of the room, as Jim raged his way into vague calmness. This time he couldn't get completely soft. His cock stayed plump on his belly, pulsing and oversensitive. His balls felt hot, swollen, almost painful and heavy.

Jim felt vulnerable in way he’d never felt before, emotional, ready to scream or cry at any moment. His heart rate was off the charts. What was more surprising was how fixated he was on Khan, on his body, his smell. He thought he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about his own body, his own unfulfilled needs, but for the fact that Khan was so close, so fucking ready, and as desperate as him.

"It doesn't fucking work," he complained, lying with his back to Khan. "I want you to fuck me next. And come. Inside me," he added, because had a hard time thinking of anything beside sex at the moment.

After thirty minutes and two more glasses of water, Khan finally came back to bed, running one hand from Jim's neck, all the way down to his ass in a caress that was supposed to be soothing but already had Jim half-hard.

"Hands and knees." Jim felt vindicated somehow that Khan's voice was as wrecked as Jim felt at the moment.

He rolled over, raising himself on shaky limbs. At this stage everything started to have that oddly floaty feeling of unreality.

Khan kept one warm palm on the small of his back, grounding him as he positioned himself behind Jim. This time the blond was grateful not to see him. Any and all stimulation was almost too much right now. He felt ridiculously exposed, filthy even with how damn open he was. All the other man needed to do was just press the head of his erection to Jim's hole and it sank right in. Jim moaned, dropping his head and panting desperately as the hot, hard length pressed in. It hurt now, he was sore and oversensitive, but it felt like the only thing capable of quenching the raging need inside him. He was grateful for Khan's hold on his hips that both controlled the pace and took most of Jim's weight off his knees.

The Augment pumped his hips in a measured pace, careful not to stimulate Jim's prostate, knowing it would be too much. At this point however, everything was too much. All Jim could think of, could feel was the stretch, the slap of Khan's balls against his own almost painfully swollen ones. All he could hear was the obscene slurping sounds of too much lube and the ragged breathing of his lover. There was heat at the base of his spine, pooling slowly in his cock that hung uselessly between his legs, the position denying him any kind of friction at all. He was sweating as if he’d run a marathon, veritable rivulets of it dripping from his forehead and his heart was trying to beat itself right out of his chest.

Even without the stimulation on his prostate or his cock, Jim was just a few seconds away from coming. He dropped head down on the bed, freeing one of his hands, gripping his erection and his testicles hard, trying to stop himself and yelled his frustration in the pillows as Khan withdrew. The sensation of the head of Khan’s penis popping out of his mistreated ass was almost enough to push Jim over the edge again. He didn't dare look at the Augment, even as he heard his breathing quicken and heard the quick, wet sounds of him jerking himself off. A moment later Jim felt come splattering his back and his buttocks and could smell the sharp scent of semen in the air. He shuddered, still face down in the pillows and realized he was actually sobbing.

Jim was almost grateful, between the bouts of self pity and unreasonable hatred, that Khan retreated to the bathroom for the ten minutes Jim spent outright crying into his bed, nose pressed to sheets that smelled like sweat and sex. When he came out from the shower, Jim's erection had subsided a little and he’d regained some control over his emotions.

The other man brought back a wet washcloth from the bathroom and gently, carefully cleaned Jim's back, making sure not to touch him too much. It was half an hour already and Jim had barely softened at all. He also felt overexposed, aware of the way he’d just spent more than ten minutes bawling into his pillow like a child.

"How long?" he asked finally, aware his voice betrayed what he’d done.

"Not long."Khan said almost gently. "Just a few more times." He reached out to touch Jim, but the blond shuddered and twitched away. It was too soon yet.

"I can't do this anymore," He said finally, casting his pride away.

Khan lay down beside him, close but not touching.

"You are doing so well. You are incredible. You can do it. You just need a distraction."

The blond closed his eyes and breathed slowly and deeply for long moments before rolling onto his back beside Khan.

"Okay, so first relationship with a man?" Jim asked, staring resolutely at the ceiling and not thinking about the way his cock was aching already and his balls felt heavy and alien between his legs.

There was silence from beside him.

He nudged Khan with his elbow. "You promised answers. Since I am actually torturing myself for your amusement you have to deliver," he complained, almost afraid of thinking about all the things this little game of theirs made him feel."Spill."

Khan made a strange, huffing sound.

"I am not withholding information," Khan protested. "There is simply nothing to tell."

Jim turned his head to stare at the Augment, his sex-addled brain not really computing the words.

"What?"

Khan turned his head to Jim and stared at him calmly, waiting for the blond to catch up.

When he did, Jim immediately rolled towards Khan almost forgetting his frustration with the lack of orgasms.

"Never?!"

This time Khan rolled his eyes.

"I’ve had casual lovers. I’ve never had a relationship with a man." His voice was still in that incredible, low register that made tiny shivers run down Jim's back.

"Until me," Jim pressed, almost challenging the other man to deny it.

Khan didn't.

Instead he surged forward, rolling them so that he was on top, leaning his weight on arms pressed into the mattress on either side of Jim's head and leaned down to kiss him, his hard stomach pressed tightly to Jim's, trapping his still-hard and oversensitive cock between their bodies.

"I hate you," Jim complained when they broke for air and the Augment slid his lips over Jim's cheek to his jaw, to finally bite at the blond’s neck, making him hiss and arch under him.

The next two hours were probably the most horrifying and intense hours of his life. Khan gave him another blowjob that Jim spent most of begging with all his might to be allowed to come. He thrashed so hard, Khan had to grab both his wrists and actually restrain him for the duration, until the Augment let go. Jim screamed every kind of obscenity at him he knew and tried to kick him in the head, half out of his mind with frustration. It took him almost an hour to calm down but he never lost his erection. Khan patiently suffered the abuse, carding his fingers through Jim's short, sweat-drenched hair as the blond twisted on the bed like a man possessed, and said nothing when Kirk bit him hard enough to draw blood in a fit of unreasonable anger.

After that Khan pulled him into his lap and proceeded to give him the slowest, most gentle handjob ever, and Jim couldn't even fight anymore. He just alternated between begging and crying into the crook of Khan's neck. The augment offered praise,and reassurances and promised it would be the last time.

Later, Jim couldn't quite remember what happened. When he came back to himself he was still sitting astride Khan's thighs, covered in sweat, heart pounding fiercely, feeling his painfully tight balls nestled over Khan's hard member, and the older man's arms secured firmly around him, petting him in long, soothing strokes.

"Please," Jim begged, "No more. I can't. No more."

"Shhh," Khan gently purred in his ear, but there was something tightly intense emanating from him. It held a sense of anticipation and something more, but Jim was too out of it to name. "You did extremely well. So well. I'm so proud of you."

Jim was shuddering constantly now, his cock had been leaking a steady stream of precome for hours now, and his testicles felt huge and painful. He couldn't think, couldn't do anything but just cling to Khan and beg.

"You are done Jim, I swear. Just tell me how you want to come. I will give you your release now. Just show me how you want it." Khan’s voice was a quiet rumble that worked its way down Jim's spine.

Jim ground his ass into the erection he could feel under him.

"In me," he managed finally, digging his nails into Khan's back hard enough to not only draw blood but to seriously hurt. Khan twitched under him and his cock jerked, but he didn't protest. So Jim did it again, oddly fixated on forcing reactions out of the Augment.

"It will hurt," Khan warned, his voice no longer smooth, but hoarse and wrecked.

Jim dug his fingers into the hot muscles under his palms.

"Do it. Please. I don't care. Just let me come." He no longer had the strength to lift his head from Khan's shoulder.

He was imminently grateful for the Augment’s strength though when Khan simply gripped his hips and raised him up. His thighs were already spread wide over Khan’s so it was only a matter of better positioning before he was sinking down onto the sizable erection, his hole swollen but open and slick from everything that had been done to it before. Jim made a choked sound, confused about the sensation. everything was intense, painful but pleasurable at the same time, and he honestly couldn't tell which was which at this point. All he wanted anything that would push him over that threshold denied to him for fucking hours. He was so weak, body now exhausted from the constant tension and all he could do was hold onto Khan's shoulders as the Augment moved him like a fucking doll in his lap. Jim tried to get a hand down between their bodies to jerk himself off but found he couldn't. Each time Khan thrust into him, the sensation of the hard flesh inside him pushed all thought from his mind, leaving him mindless, keening his frustration into Khan's sweaty skin.

The other man seemed to realize his conundrum and changed position, locking one powerful arm around Jim's back to hold him still as he snapped his hips up, forcing out short, sharp sounds and managed to fit his other between their bodies, catching hold of Jim's oversensitive penis and stroking him ruthlessly hard.

Jim opened his mouth to cry out but couldn't say if he made a sound or not. Everything was just too much and his body gave out. His vision whited out and a wave of pure heat, scorchingly painful, overcame him starting in his lower back, spearing through his stomach and then exploding out of him in rope after rope of come. His whole body seized, clenching so hard on the cock pounding into him. He thought he heard Khan give a shout. His balls clenched so hard, Jim was sure he was crying as he finally, finally came. It took him over completely. He had no control of his limbs, wasn't aware of the sounds he made, nor what was happening outside. All he was aware of was his body, his whole existence was reduced to the spasms of almost painful pleasure that crested over and over again, washing away any and all rational thought. He must have blacked out for a moment because when he opened his eyes, he was on his back, with Khan over him, face flushed and stripped of all control, and twisted into a rictus of such primal need it stunned Jim. The Augment pushed his thighs even further apart when he saw Jim look at him and continued to fuck him, desperately chasing his own completion. Before he’d even realized what was going on, Jim seized again, his body arching, his cock spasming, spilling a small amount of fluid as he, unbelievably, came again. He jerked almost painfully in Khan's unbreakable hold before he passed out completely.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Press the kudos button with extreme prejudice!


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